Considering how I am only starting this blog now, well beyond the original deadline, I thought it would be a good idea to perhaps provide some sort of apology and explanation. Especially seeing as the content of this blog will no doubt be sub-par. Here goes.
I adore this course and all the tutors on it. I think it's fascinating, stimulating and well taught. I hate the thought that my lack of drive and inability to get almost anything done implies that I am somehow indifferent and passionless. As hard as I have found it to be productive in any way these last few months it has never been because of any of the people involved with this course nor the content of it.
The truth is that my father's death hit me far harder than I ever expected. Having never experienced the death of anyone I know or knew in the past the removal of one of the only two people who have literally been there my entire life was hard to wrap my mind around. It was numbing. Impossible to describe. I wrote a poem and read it at his funeral. That was one way of dealing with it there and then. It made me feel better, but as time wears on you start to notice that weeks have passed and you haven't done anything.
I missed a fair few lectures and even the shoot for the short film. The drive to be productive had left me before I even noticed and so it was incredibly difficult to bring myself back. I would like to say, however, that the reason I missed the shoot was that my mum booked a holiday to Florida for me, my sisters and my boyfriend for two weeks to help us feel better. This happened to coincide with the shoot. I did want to be there.
I also wanted to go to all the lectures I missed. I very much enjoy your teaching and the work we are set. I liked this module a lot and so my lack of drive had nothing to do with that. This module was the only one running at this time that I managed to get something done for. I worked extremely hard to get the sound done for this film. It was a real challenge. Not only due to it being challenging work in itself, but also because I was fighting my own lack of drive and extremely poor sleep pattern in order to come in and get the work done. The truth is that if the rest of my group weren't relying on me and nudging me repeatedly to do my work I probably wouldn't have been able to do it.
As I put what was essentially the entirety of my focus and energy into actually completing the soundtrack to the film the blog obviously feel to the wayside. I wanted to get at least one thing done for that semester and I just about succeeded. I am extremely sorry for missing lectures and neglecting this blog entirely. I hope this at least explains it a little and makes it clear that it had nothing to do with the content of the module or the teaching
